*
This is for anyone who lives in
anyone who already lives in
of downtown
All directions start with, "Go down
Peachtree" and include the phrase,
"When you see the
Waffle House." Except that in
directions begin with, "Go to
the Big Chicken."
with:
·
·
·
·
·
· Peachtree Run
· Peachtree Terrace
·
· Peachtree Commons
· Peachtree Battle
· Peachtree Corners
· New Peachtree
· Old Peachtree
·
· Peachtree-Dunwoody
· Peachtree-Chamblee
·
Atlantans only know their way to
work and their way home. If you ask
anyone for directions, they
will always send you down Peachtree.
ask for any other soft
drink unless it's made by Coca-Cola. Even if you
want something other than a
Coca-Cola, it's still called Coke.
The gates at
miles away from the Main
Concourse, so wear sneakers and pack a lunch.
The 8 am rush hour is from 6:30 to 10:30 AM.
The 5 pm rush hour is from 3:00 to 7:30 PM.
Friday's rush hour starts
Thursday afternoon and lasts through 2 am
Saturday.
Only a native of
Spanish pronunciation. People will simply tilt
their heads to the right
and stare at you. The
And yes, they have a street named simply,
"Boulevard."
The falling of one raindrop causes all drivers
to immediately forget all
traffic rules. If a single
snowflake falls, the city is paralyzed for
three days and it's on all
the channels as a news flash every 15 minutes
for a week. Overnight, all
grocery stores will be sold out of milk,
bread, bottled water, toilet
paper, and beer.
I-285, the loop that encircles
of 55 mph (but you have to
maintain 80 mph just to keep from getting run
over), is known to truckers
as "The Watermelon 500."
Don't believe the directional markers on
highways: I-285 is marked
"East" and "West" but you
may be going North or South. The locals
identify the direction by
referring to the "Inner Loop" and the "Outer
If you travel on Hwy 92 North, you will actually
be going southeast.
Never buy a ladder or mattress in
interstates and you will soon find
one in the middle of the road.
The last thing you want to do is give another
driver the finger, unless
your car is armored, your
trigger finger is itchy and your AK-47 has a
full clip.
Possums sleep in the middle of the road with
their feet in the air.
There are 5,000 types of snakes and 4,998 live
in
There are 10,000 types of spiders. All 10,000
live in
If it grows, it sticks. If it crawls, it bites.
If you notice a vine
trying to wrap itself around
your leg, you have about 20 seconds to
escape, before you are
completely captured and covered with Kudzu,
another ill-advised
"import," like the carp, starling, English sparrow,
and other ''exotic
wonders."
It's not a shopping cart, it's a buggy. "Fixinto" is one word (I'm
fixinto go to the store).
Sweet Tea is appropriate for all meals and you
start drinking it when
you're 2 years old.
"Jeet?" is
actually a phrase meaning "Did you eat?"
"Momma-nem"
means: How's Mother and all of the other children and other
members of the family doing.
If you understand these jokes, forward them to
your friends from
Lordy, I love Jawja!